Total Drama Saga: Be Novel
by Ryuki Rose
Summary: Watch as the Total Drama cast re-enacts the most beloved classics in literature in order to win one million dollars! I want frank feedback. Even if it's negative. Eventual CxD and some OC action. Challenge one up and...a death?
1. Prologue: Congratulations

A/N: Howdy, folks. I'm back with yet another new story. Unlike my others, though, this is a guilty pleasure one concerning my TDI/TDA original character. Don't hate me for it. Please. D=

Summary: The third season of the Total Drama series was bound to be lucky, right? Total Drama Saga would redefine reality television as everyone knew it! Except, it didn't. It bombed. Badly. In a last ditch effort to stir up drama, an intern gets thrown into the game. Chris couldn't have asked for a more chaos, though, as those great teenage hormones take effect. Possible OCxDuncanxCourtney.

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island, Total Drama Action, and corresponding characters belong to Teletoon, Jennifer Pertsch, and Tom McGillis. Stephen King and Stephenie Meyer belong to themselves.

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**Total Drama Saga: Prologue**

Total Drama Island had been a hit. Total Drama Action had been a smash! So, the producers assumed that Total Drama Saga – the reality show where challenges were based on various hit novels and fairy tales – would knock them out of the park! Of course, it hadn't. The viewership of the Total Drama series, it seemed, weren't literate enough or inclined to pick up anything that wasn't the latest tabloid or Vogue. Three episodes in and the show was rotting at the pit of low ratings. However, they had invested too much time and money to let this project fail! So, what could they do to rev up the drama? To get the ratings in fresh and overflowing?

"Here's your coffee, Mr. McLean." An intern interrupted Chris's thoughts as he pondered over the latest problem that could possibly throw Total Drama Saga into the abyss of cancellation. He looked up into the sprightly blonde's face, the gears slowly clinking in his head as he accepted the beverage from her. Something was bouncing into place, something big, something awesome. As Chris stared at the young woman, the intern started to fidget, biting her bottom lip as she was unsure of what exactly to do. Usually Chris would bark out another order in his good-nature drawl or dismiss her with a smarmy comment, but now he was just staring at her. Lacey was getting more than a tad unsure of herself. A little frantic at this unforeseen predicament, the intern glanced around, hoping to catch the gaze of a co-worker who would be kind enough to save her.

"I got it!" proclaimed Chris, his sudden jump to stand knocked over the director's chair he had been lounging in while Lacey the intern squeaked and stumbled back. There was a moment of silence between Chris and Lacey, as he dramatically posed with fists on his hips, waiting for something. Around them, the paid crewmembers and interns were going about their business, however. Their shuffling, chattering, and clattering of various items grinded down on Chris's intention of a dramatic explanation of how he would rescue Total Drama Saga from the dusts of obscurity. When the man realized that none of his employees seemed the least bit concerned, his dark eyes darted over to the brown-eyed blonde intern – who's name he couldn't quite recall or even cared about remembering – as he inquired, "Well, aren't you going to ask me what?"

"W-what do you have?" Stuttered Lacey obediently, as she gripped her clipboard in front of her like a shield. She had only started a week previous and heard more than enough tales of the treacherous challenges that Chris sent his interns on. The young woman was a little more than fearful that he was about to run her through an obstacle course inspired by a Stephen King novel or, worse, Stephenie Meyer.

"I have an idea to make Total Drama Saga as awesome and amazing as the previous Total Drama seasons!" Chris's voice started low, slowly increasing in a crescendo as the melodramatic host attempted to amp up the energy of any listeners, "Picture this. The contestants are fighting for the million dollar prize, fighting amongst themselves, thinking they know who they're battling against, and we throw them a curveball! A fast one!"

Chris paused, hoping someone would inquire what, exactly, they were going to do to rile up the loved Total Drama cast. More interns and crew members were staring now, eyebrows cocked and vaguely wondering what their crazy boss was rambling about now. When no one vocalized the desired inquiry, though, Chris sighed and crossed his arms. With a slightly miffed tone, the dark-haired man snapped, "I guess you all want to lose your jobs, _huh_?"

"What are you going to do to save Total Drama Lit, Mr. McLean?" chimed several crew members and interns simultaneously, without much conviction.

"Glad you asked!" Grinned Chris, as he grabbed the nearest intern – Lacey as it happened – and pulled her close. With one arm around her shoulders, the man swung out his free arm in a regal gesture and declared, "We shall throw an intern into the mix! The contestants will _hate _it, find it suspicious, and – what's better – think the intern has an advantage and will fight to have them placed on their team!"

"_Really_?!" Gasped Lacey, eyes wide with hope. He was talking about her being the intern that would be thrown into the mix, right? After all, Mr. McLean had his arm around her and had been staring at her so disconcertingly a moment before this idea burst from his lips. Lacey had the right to be a contestant if she gave him the idea! Unfaltering excitement gripped at the blonde's chest as she smiled brightly, eyes glittering as she thought about meeting the Total Drama cast. To meet Lindsay, or Beth, or Justin – especially Justin – would just be the highlight of Lacey's life!

Chris didn't reply to her, though. Instead, a chuckle fell from the host's lips as he just imagined how some of the more fiery and vocal of the teenage contestants would fight, tooth and claw, against the idea of an unknown enemy infiltrating their ranks. Chris McLean's chest was swelling with pride and ego, unable to wait for the opportunity for the upcoming challenge. This idea would definitely flood in the ratings! However, there was a question teasing at his grand delusions. As the vain man's head came down from the clouds, his eyes regained focus as he boomed out, "So, who should be the lucky intern?"

A grin curled at his lips and Lacey's brown eyes darted to his features, almost afraid she was losing her chance to meet the glorious stars of Total Drama. But, the expression made her wonder if he was just pulling her leg or trying to get a rise out of her. He wasn't going to forget about her, right? He had his arm around her for God's sakes!

Some of the other interns, however, jumped at the chance. There was a squabbling as they raised their hands, shouted out 'me me me', or rushed toward their employer, grabbing him by his shirt and pleading for his vote. The remaining interns, though, wrinkled their noses at the displays and went back to their previous assignments, finding their fellow co-workers more than a little disappointing. Chris shrugged his arm away from Lacey's arms, leaving the blonde crestfallen, and covered his eyes with one hand. That impetuous grin stayed plastered on his lips as he spun around, muttering a child's chant under his breath. Slowly, his finger stopped bouncing from person to person and he lowered his hand from his eyes.

"You-" his finger pointed to a young man with fiery red hair, green eyes, and paint splatters on his clothes. He could have been Izzy's twin.

"Are-" The finger jeered at a curly-haired, androgynous waif of an intern momentarily.

"_It!_" Yelled Chris, spinning on his heel to point at whoever would happen to be right behind him. Chef stared, a bemused look on his haggard features. There was momentary snickers from the interns that surrounded Chris, but with an purposeful shake of his head, Chris was able to wordlessly communicate to his _compadre _to move it. When the hulking mass that was Chef stepped aside, Chris almost burst out in peals of chortles.

It was Sophie Monroe, the only intern who had made it through both seasons of Total Drama and the only employee that Chris knew by name, thanks to her seniority. Who better – realized Chris, as he advanced on the burgundy-haired intern, arm still extended and finger still pointing – than the intern who knew just about everything that had happened between the contestants? Wasn't she a major in English, as well? Good ol' finger couldn't have chosen a better guinea pig for his glorious idea!

Obviously, she had not been paying any mind to Chris's shenanigans. Her light brown eyes were focused on a stack of paper she was thumbing through. They were annoying documents, waivers, complaint letters, and fan letters; heck, some of the letters were actually from family, but they wouldn't be allowed to reply to them until after the show. They were only reviewed in case something of dire need was happening. When Chris was a foot from her, finger pointed right at her forehead, Sophie was roused from her work and slowly peered at him over her half-moon spectacles.

"What, Mr. McLean?" inquired Sophie, barely hiding the irritation in her tone.

Chris's grin broadened, white teeth bright enough to blind a flare, as he languidly relished in saying, "You, nerdtern, are Total Drama Saga's newest contestant. Congratulations!"

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I'm currently writing the next chapter as we speak...erh, read and type. Please read, review, give me some critiques, throw me some novels you'd be especially giddy to see turned into challenges. =D

Ciao, potential readers.


	2. Chapter 1: Once Upon A Time

A/N: Woot, Chapter 1! XD I'm going to make a note here about the teams, just so you know who is on which one. Kay? Oh, and I'm sorry, I feel like this chapter sucks, since I'm trying to juggle so many characters at once. D= Tips, critiques, reviews please?

The Teams:

Killer Puns: Justin, Geoff (Voted off), Bridgette (Voted Off), Gwen, Trent, Leshawna , Harold, Izzy, Tyler, Noah

Screaming Irony: Katie, Sadie, Duncan, Heather, Cody(Voted Off), Ezekiel(Voted Off), Beth, , Eva(Voted Off), Lindsay, DJ, Owen

Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama Island or the corresponding characters.

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**Chapter One: Once Upon A Time…**

"I can't believe they're throwing an intern into the show. I mean, we've worked so hard and they just throw a newbie into our ranks?" Heather was stomping through the forest, seething with rage, as she half concentrated on the challenge and half ranted. It would have been one thing if Chris had returned a familiar enemy to the battlefield, but a newcomer? Someone all of them knew nothing about? Plus, she was an intern, so she had to have some sort of unfair advantage over the other contestants! Then again, Heather wasn't surprised – just angry – since Chris's antics were a hallmark of the Total Drama series. That didn't mean she had to be happy about the outcome.

However, other team members of the Screaming Ironies weren't going to obsess over the fresh meat. After all, team invincibility was up for grabs and the delinquent wasn't going to complain about adding another member to their ranks. If she turned out to be a mole or a saboteur, they could always vote her off in the next round. Over his shoulder, as he stalked ahead of the outraged priss, Duncan growled, "Can it, Heather. Whining isn't going to help. Right now, we need to figure out what we're going to do to get that invincibility."

Thanks to Chris's 'opposing team chooses who gets to act as hero for the other team' rule, and the high estrogen count (plus Owen)on team Irony, the Killer Puns had Justin as their hero, while they had Sadie for their protagonist. In this particular situation, Duncan would have said they were boned. Since those marked as heroes had to find the tower and rescue the princess – and were assumedly the only ones allowed to do so - the remaining cast-mates were villains, trying to stop the opposing protagonist at all costs. Of course, if Duncan had learned anything from the previous Total Drama seasons it was to think outside the box and break the rules, both of which came naturally to him.

"Well, what _can_ we do? Ninety percent of our team will just drool over the man candy hero!" started DJ, unable to see any way they would win. The girls threw him a look, but none of them muttered anything to indicate they would disagree. Just as he finished speaking, however, a pink bird fluttered to his shoulder, twittering a little song as its feet made contact with the jock's broad shoulder.

Almost instantly, an idea hit Duncan like a train slamming into a car stuck on the railroad tracks. Slamming a fist into his open palm, the delinquent crowed triumphantly, "Got it. Here's the plan. We're splitting into two groups—"

***

"I know this is going to ruin your plan, Chris, but I'm not one of your damsel types." Snarled Sophie to herself as she struggled to climb into the window of the tower she was being held captive in. Chef Hatchett had dragged her all the way up the stairs of a shoddily built tower, after she was informed of all the details concerning her new status as a contestant. Being used as a device to increase ratings was one thing, but making her a damned prize? No. Her pride was too large to become anything of the sort. Of course, Chef Hatchett and McLean had decided to bloody well dress her for the part as well. The long, maroon dress that was tailored to mimic medieval era fashions kept hindering her plan for escape. Then again, maybe it was the extra pudge around her hips that wasn't helping. Either it got caught on a convenient nail or it was too bulky to allow Sophie to squeeze through the window. Without the fifty layers of cloth, the window would have been a snug fit for her forming love handles. Her escape was proving to be a futile effort, it seemed. This was worse than trying to find that blasted host's favorite hair gel after midnight.

"I'm going to kill Mr. McLean once I get back." Growled Sophie as she worked on squeezing her rump out of the window. Her hands were firmly gripped on the tower's overhanging roof, ready to tighten the hold should she suddenly pop out of the tower like a cork out of a wine bottle. However, it seemed the dress was good and stuck, especially since there was a faint ripping sound every time Sophie went to tug herself free. The tower that had been put up almost overnight had nails sticking out everywhere and plenty pieces of uneven wood for the fabric to catch on. It really didn't surprise the intern-turned-contestant, frankly.

"Y'know, you might want to start screaming for help about now_, m'lady_. " Laughed Chris over a megaphone as he watched the girl's struggles from below. The sudden sound of her boss's voice jolted Sophie, causing her to quickly look down. As if matters weren't terrible for her, fate wanted to make them worse. At the sudden jerky movement, Sophie's glasses slid down her nose, threatening to fall. Instinct took over and her hands instantly went to shove the spectacles back to their proper place. With her grip no longer on the roof, however, Sophie fell forward, a yelp tearing from her lips as she realized her fallacy. Instantly, her arms stiffened, trying to catch her fall against the tower's side and, in slow motion, Sophie's glasses slid off her nose, and down, down, down. With the small pinch of adrenaline, Sophie's heart was pounding and now she couldn't make out anything below. Well, this was a fine and dandy start to being a contestant!

The only highlight of the day, so far, was the fact the spectacles used Chris McLean's head as a landing target.

***

The sound of Chris's megaphone reverberated across the island, catching the ears of both teams. A satisfied grin curled over Justin's lips as he started to swagger his way toward the tower. This was going to be too easy. The young man was more than confident that the Killer Puns would win this challenge. After all, those female dunces wouldn't stop him. They were always too busy drooling over his presence to realize when he was manipulating them. Being hot definitely paid off and it wasn't a bad resource when in a competition, either.

As his sandals crunched over the twigs and leaves that littered the floor of the forest, something caught his gaze at the outside of his peripheral vision. A bright hint of blonde hair as it ducked behind a tree.

"Oh my god, he's so cute. Why are we doing this to him again?" The low I.Q. inquiry caught Justin's attention, catching his curiosity. However, he kept strolling, slowly, so to catch the reply.

"Like, you know what? I don't know!" gasped another airhead voice that was obviously feminine. Changing course, Justin wandered towards the source, a smile alighting his godly features . It was a couple of females, so there was nothing to be afraid of. After all, if they were going to jump him and attempt to hinder him somehow, he may as well take the active role and stop their silly attempt.

He found Lindsay and Beth behind the tree just as he peeked around the corner. As the girls saw him, they squealed in delight, realizing they had been caught and could now not go on with their plan. At least, that's what Justin had originally assumed. His bright, toothpaste ad smile faltered some as he realized that DJ, that moron of a softie, was in his fans' presence. It wasn't the fact a boy was among them that ruined his amusement, though. It the fact that DJ was surrounded by an array of forest animals that all looked overdue for a rabies shot, and they were all staring directly at the pretty boy. And none of them looked like they were ready to swoon over his twelve pack anytime soon.

Realizing that he, Justin the beautiful young man, was on the pointy end of the animals' teeth and the wrong end of a booby trap he opened his mouth and –

***

Duncan whooped triumphantly as he heard the shriek of terror, which held a bit too much of a perfect octave to be anyone but Justin's.

"Wasn't that, like, a little harsh, Duncan?" asked Katie, who had refused to play any sort of terrible prank on Justin. Besides, she wanted to stick with Sadie, and since Duncan was the only other defense against Justin, there was no choice but to allow her to follow. Heather and Owen had separated from the group to trek individually around and incapacitate the enemy villains.

"Oh my god, Katie, I was thinking the exact same thing!" exclaimed Sadie, her voice reaching high decibels that Duncan knew dogs would whimper to. As the best female friends for life squeed at their similarity, the punk trekked further ahead. He, too, had heard Chris's megaphone and was heading for the source. Within moments, Duncan was able to see the tower and, seconds later, make out the shape that was the intern. As he jogged to the base of the tower, forcefully grabbing both girls by the wrists and dragging them after, ignoring their complaints, he couldn't help but laugh.

"I thought princesses were supposed to be elegant and graceful!" jeered Duncan. Sophie heard the jab at her current situation and crossed her arms, glaring fitfully at the blurry blob she assumed was the smartass.

"How are we going to get her down?" One of the squealing twins inquired.

Just as Duncan was about to answer the girl, a portion of the Killer Puns came charging through the trees, ending up in the clearing that ringed about the base of the tower. Gwen and Leshawna were dragging a damaged Justin with Trent tailing behind them as they struggled to get the hero to the tower.

"C'mon, Justin, you got to snap out of it and go get the girl." Said Trent, skirting around the hero's party to shake the slightly dazed young man into coherence. However, the fact that fuzzy, sweet little creatures had completely ignored his beauty to bite his gorgeous flesh and mar his skin with scratches was proving to be too much of a mental blow to break away from.

While the Killer Puns tried to shake their protagonist into being heroic, Duncan had taken the moment of distraction to scale the side of the tower. Splinters bit at his calloused hands as he scrambled up the side of the building. Just as he was halfway up, a thin board broke under his sneaker's sole, sending him sliding two yards down. Despite the pain of wood being dug more deeply into his flesh, the delinquent only cursed silently to himself and started back up the side. His competitive nature wasn't about to allow the faint pain to throw him off his game! Vaguely, he heard his the screechy voices of Katie and Sadie cheering him on below and, slowly, the rest of Team Irony dawdled to the site and voiced their support.

"So, I'm being saved by a monkey with a monobrow?" inquired Sophie, her voice laden with sarcastic curiosity. She was squinting, her defective eyes trying to make out the image of Duncan more clearly.

"Hey, least my _butt_ isn't stuck in a window." Shot back Duncan, who smirked smugly.

"Yeah, yeah. Hilarious. Just get me out already," snapped the 'damsel', feeling her face flush in anger as she realized her pride had no say in her distressing situation. It had choked on its own stubbornness, as ego often does.

By this time, though, Duncan had climbed up beside the window and was attempting to untangle the fabric from whatever it had caught on. The sounds of tearing skirts and splintering wood dotted the air as the delinquent pulled and tugged at the mess of cloth that had engulfed the newcomer's lower body. His ears were training on other sounds, though. Specifically the loud whoops and cheers from the Killer Puns as Justin finally shook his shock from his synapses and started to climb up the side of the building. More curses flew from Duncan's lips as he tugged more frantically, but it seemed as if the girl was good and stuck.

"Forget this." Growled the young man as he grabbed onto the overhanging roof with one hand. His other hand grabbed Sophie by the wrist while his feet planted solidly on the rickety wood prison, "You push, I pull."

Listening to Duncan's commands, since she really had no other way out, Sophie pushed against the floor inside with her feet and the outside wall as Duncan pulled at her arm. Thanks to the twenty or so minutes of being stuck that way, her stomach and sides felt bruised and her shoulder felt ready to be popped out of its socket. She trudged on, though, feeling her hips inch through the window. Of course, the slow process wasn't fast enough for Duncan to 'claim the prize' since Justin had scurried up and was positioning himself on the opposite side of the delinquent. With a bright smirk that still amplified his pretty features, Justin threw a look at Duncan, as if to say 'Nice try, but I have this won'. Quickly, the godly young man mimicked Duncan's pose, grabbing Sophie by her other wrist.

This was the most embarrassing, ridiculous, sorry excuse of a predicament that Sophie ever found herself in. Of course, she didn't have much time to dwell on the idiotic situation, since the added muscle soon had her popped out of the window. Now, though, a new problem arose.

"Hands off, pretty boy. I got here first."

"I plainly remember you being a villain, Duncan. Villains _can't_ be heroes, so drop the act and the girl. She'd rather be on my team, anyway. Wouldn't you, cutie?" Justin's eyes twinkled in the sun as he smiled at his prize. The young man increased the hotness factor to such a degree, the girls below were swooning and drooling up a storm. However, the effect was lost on Sophie.

Cocking an eyebrow, the young woman stared blindly at Justin, not realizing his blurry features were supposed to be enough to send her hormones into a frenzy, "Truthfully? I really don't care."

Being shocked not once, but twice in one day was too much of a blow for the egotistical git. However, it gave more than enough of an advantage to Duncan. Without warning, he yanked Sophie out of Justin's grip, swinging her over to his side. However, the momentum was too much for his hands, which were slicked with sweat and small trickles of blood, and the next thing he knew, he was no longer grasping air. Shocked at the sudden realization he no longer held anything, Duncan looked down, watching as the girl plummeted down. The only thing that lingered of her in the air was a shriek of surprise as she felt the air race by her falling form.

"Shit. I think I just killed the intern."

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A/N: =F Well, hopefully it's been established that Sophie isn't a Mary Sue original character (right?). I'd like feed back please. =3


	3. Chapter 2: Happily Ever After

**A/N**: =F Uhm... Please review? I'm working hard and would like some sincere feedback. Too long, too short, too indepth, not enough details? D= Pleaaaase?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Total Drama Action, or Total Drama Island. I only own Sophie and, I guess, the idea of Total Drama Saga.

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_**Recap: Chapter 1**_

_Being shocked not once, but twice in one day was too much of a blow for the egotistical git. However, it gave more than enough of an advantage to Duncan. Without warning, he yanked Sophie out of Justin's grip, swinging her over to his side. However, the momentum was too much for his hands, which were slicked with sweat and small trickles of blood, and the next thing he knew, he was grasping air. Shocked at the sudden realization he no longer held anything, Duncan looked down, watching as the girl plummeted down. The only thing that lingered of her in the air was a shriek of surprise as she felt the air race by her falling form._

_"Shit. I think I just killed the intern."_

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**Chapter 2: Happily Ever After**

Silence was wrought tightly about the Epilogue Stage, where Chris would announce the winners, the losers, and the one who would take the walk of shame to the boat of losers. Reusing props from the original Total Drama Island? Oh yeah, the producers were hurting for the funds and the ratings. As Chris looked over his contestants, an attempt to look serious painting his features, it was quickly broken into a snigger of derision as the host stated, "Wow. That was really lame."

Sitting between the Killer Puns and Screaming Ironies, Sophie was glowering at Chris McLean. The skirt of the dress she donned was shredded thanks to Duncan's attempts at freeing her from the dreaded window, while her hair still held the wild, windswept look from her fall. However, fate threw her a break and returned her glasses to her in the form of an old buddy of an intern.

"Neither team saved Sophie and, what's more, a villain tried to play hero! Righteous breaking of an archetype, but definitely against the rules." Even his voice was grating on her nerves, it was so frustrating. She couldn't wait until the man was done speaking, done playing host, so she could chew him out for everything he had put her through. The young woman was starting to forget why she even agreed to this convoluted idea to begin with!

As Sophie sat there, her crossed leg bouncing in irritation. Chris prattled on, however, informing the contestants that invincibility was invalid, since both teams failed. Finally, he got to the point of his long-winded stage performance, "Since this even failed, _miserably_ , we're letting nerdtern choose which team she wants to be on."

"What if we don't want her on our team? No use if there's no invincibility." Snapped Heather, that perpetual sour look alighting on her face. Her arms were crossed defensively, along with her legs. With her newly grown bob hair cut, Heather looked like the epitome of frigid parole officer. A few others muttered similar inquiries, looking bemused and bored.

"Well, not only has she worked the last two seasons, letting her know _all_ of your weaknesses," Chris paused, letting the slower contestants let that fact catch up to them before continuing, "But she's also majoring in English, which includes studying the art of storytelling. _Which_ is what your challenges are based on."

"Oh my god, if you're studying English, what's your first language?" Chirped Lindsay, who leaned closer to Sophie's shoulder with the bright, friendly smile curling over her colored lips.

The newcomer only gave the blonde a sidelong glance, cocking an eyebrow as to wonder if the young woman was serious. Then again, it _was_ Lindsay. Of course she'd ask something like that. Returning her leer to Chris McLean, Sophie calmly replied, "Sarcasm."

"Oh." Murmured Lindsay, gingerly touching a finger to her lips as her brow furrowed in confusion. She leaned back into her seat, attempting to figure out what country Sarcasm was the leading language to.

"Like this is so unfair! She landed on Sadie! _Sadie saved her_!" whined Katie, her lips trembling in a pout as she held hands with Sadie. The chunky pseudo twin nodded her head in agreement, her face forming a similar expression as the skinny friend.

Not to let the complaint take root, however, Leshawna voiced her mind with her edgy sass, "Puh-lease, if it wasn't for Duncan, Justin would have saved her!"

Unseen by the contestants, their host started to grin broadly. The drama was already starting to blossom. Chris felt that prideful ego of his blowing up in his bosom, yet again, as he watched both teams snipe and fight with one another. It did the man's heart and wallet good to see such venomous glares and sneers adorning so many teenage faces.

"Right, because pretty boy was in such great condition after being mauled by Bambie's little friends." Laughed Duncan, still riding his high horse for such a fine scheme. The look on his face was nonchalant, however beneath it all, a urge to be ferocious was boiling beneath the surface.

Feminine eyes turned to glare at the criminal, from both teams, as Gwen voiced what all estrogen-addled minds were thinking, "That was a low move and you know it!"

"Oh, and using Justin's man candy wasn't low?" snapped D.J., frowning as he crossed his arms and glared along the line of Killer Puns. In his lap, Bunny sat, ears perked up as it listened to the conversation. A slight red tinge mottled the little rodent's muzzle, almost unnoticed thanks to the lighting.

"It's not our fault you guys have a combined I.Q. of eight." Drawled Noah, who hadn't removed his nose from the book since Chris started his incessant yapping.

"Will you guys shut it?" snapped Sophie, unable to keep her roiling annoyance from frothing over. She got to her feet, her voice resounding over the present ears. Silence descended on the quarreling teens as their eyes drifted to the frazzled figure of Sophie. Some looked annoyed, others impressed, and the remainder had the glazed look of those whose thoughts were elsewhere. As Sophie scrambled off the bleachers, turning to face the two teams, the young woman sighed.

Sophie wanted a team that had a chance of getting her to the finals, right? After all, her career as a writer was on the line. Being an intern – a position she wasn't actually giving up by acting as a contestant – she couldn't win the whole prize. However, she could win a quarter of it and a position as a co-writer on another show produced by the same executives that were pumping money into the Total Drama series. The vague recollections of these details shimmered in Sophie's mind, reminding her as to why she was going through this humiliation. The prize was worth it, in the end, if she could make it that far.

As her brown eyes wandered over the handful of teenagers, facts about each flickering at her synapses, Sophie attempted to discern who would be the best fit. The Killer Puns had the strong team of Gwen, Trent, Izzy, and Leshawna, along with the advantage of Justin. But, the Screaming Ironies did have Duncan and Heather, two very crafty and formidable allies (or opponents), along with the added morale of Owen's cheerfulness. On the negative side, however, the Ironies were saturated with low intelligence and high-pitched vocals of Katie, Sadie, and Lindsay. Could Heather's manipulative nature and Duncan's determined competitiveness defeat such odds against team Irony?

Justin flashed Sophie a smile just as her eyes met his. Something in Sophie's gut shuddered as the young woman felt her face flush a dark red. An onslaught of hormones was saturating her blood, dizzying her thoughts and clouding her judgment.

"Oh come on. I thought you were supposed to be smart, don't fall for Fabio's smile!" Snapped Duncan, as all the females present, along with Owen, started to swoon at Justin's sparkly nature.

"You know, calling me dumb isn't going to help your team." Snapped Sophie, eyes darting away from Justin to land on Duncan.

"Hey, I'm not the one getting easily distracted by a pretty face." Replied Duncan, a lazy smile twitching at his lips.

"Well, obviously you don't go for pretty, I've seen your tastes." Parried Sophie, a stoic expression painting her features as she eyed the young man who had, roughly half an hour ago, was attempting to save her from a tower.

The words, however, were like a slap in the face to Duncan. His eyes widened, features turning into that of a beast as the words sunk deeper into his mind. A tense shuffling started among the others, some muttering and murmuring to one another about the new girl getting in over her head was sifting through the air. It was apparent that those on the Killer Puns thought they were a shoe-in with Sophie, after watching the exchange between the "ex"-intern and the ex-convict.

"Was that a jab at my girl?" snarled Duncan, jumping to his feet, prepared to throttle Sophie.

"Hey, hey, hey, are you going to choose, or just verbally spar all night?" Snapped Chris, breaking through the amusement that was starting to clutter Sophie's mind. She glanced over to the host, before letting her eyes sweep over the teams one last time. Assessing, analyzing, debating. The young woman was having trouble choosing. Then again, the short glance to Justin had lodged a hard to shake desire in Sophie's brain. Some little rebellious mist started to form in her head, though, deteriorating the hormonal influx that Justin had instilled in her. Sophie didn't like the thought of being manipulated constantly, and losing challenges, thanks to the Puns advantage of possessing Justin. The choice seemed like an obvious one to make.

"Okay, I've picked." Announced Sophie, her eyes wandering to the Puns. Duncan sat back down, crossing his arms and frowning at the newcomer bitterly. There was an obvious wave of disappointment running through the Screaming Ironies, save for the frustrated punk, as they assumed what the young woman's answer was.

"Can't blame ya', nerdtern, so the Kil—"

"I've chosen the Screaming Ironies." Interrupted Sophie, grinning at Chris as he threw her a look for interrupting him. When his irritated look turn to one of shock and curiosity, the young woman shrugged her shoulders and added, "I love underdogs and they usually win."

There was a moment of dumbfounded silence, before the squealer twins let loose a high pitched shriek of delight. The next thing Sophie knew, she was being caught up in a four-way hug by Katie, Sadie, Lindsay, and Beth. All of them were babbling about being happy to have another girl on the team and other things that seemed to intertwine with one another. Behind the giggling happiness that surrounded Sophie, she heard D.J. and Owen whoop in triumph and the unbeliving groans from Team Puns. The only two that didn't seem positively ecstatic at their increase in numbers was Heather and, obviously, Duncan.

Over the festivities and the complaints, Chris was wrapping up the challenge, making his typical jabs at the contestants. Just as he dismissed the teenagers - Sophie still in the clutches of her 'new best female friends ever' - the host added one final twist to the already warped day. A hint, it seemed, for the challenge to come, "Rest up. Tomorrow is another day, another drama. And remember, _don't run with scissors_."

Chris only grinned as the looks of befuddlement dotted the faces of those few who were still bothering to listen to him.

* * *

**A/N:** The ending sucked balls. I know. D= But, next chapter will have some Duncan and Sophie one-on-one interaction. Will Duncan be able to speak to her without Sophie receiving a black eye? Will Sophie know when to shut up? And what was up with Chris's (not so) subtle hint?

Find out next time on Total Drama Saga! And, in the mean time, remember to be novel. =D And review.

[/shot for being corny]


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